Myth 1
People living with disabilities should not be parents.
People living with disability face high levels of overt discrimination throughout their parenthood journey. Disability is reduced to risk, to the parent and child, and this highlights the historical and contemporary experiences of disadvantage in the personal, social and structural spheres of life. Disability becomes the lens through which a person’s experience is viewed by others, including challenges due to unrelated issues such as insecure housing, poverty, and lack of available support services.
Facts
People with a living experience of disability enjoy the same sexual and reproductive rights as all members of society. These rights are enshrined in the Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities, notably Article 23: respect for home and the family.
Parenting is a learned skill. With the right supports and adjustments, everyone can be successful in their parenthood journey. A wide range of supports are available.
There are a range of options available to all women regarding pregnancy regardless of if the pregnancy was planned, or unplanned. Having a baby is a big decision, and it is up to the woman to continue the pregnancy or not. Options available are outlined in the Family Planning NSW factsheet “Planning Pregnancy and Pregnancy Choices.”
“All parents require support to raise their children, there is no shame in this. In fact, more support for parents should be provided by the community at large. Disability is not a predictor of whether someone can be a good parent. Refusing to allow someone to experience the journey of parenthood is not acceptable[.]” Anonymous survey respondent.
Myth 2
People living with disability are incapable of “real sex”, and are therefore, not sexual beings.
People living with disability who enter into intimate relationships are often subjected to harmful stereotypes and bias from others. It may be assumed that people living with disability are incapable of engaging in sexual activity, or there is an assumption that people with disability should form intimate relationships with other people living with disability. In the case of interabled couples, the legitimacy of relationships may be questioned, based on ideas of dependency or care giving.
Facts
People living with disability have the right to bodily autonomy, including the ways in which their bodies are described. People living with disability are free to choose terms to describe their body, their sexual identities, and gender identities.
People living with disability are often considered to be asexual. This belief is inaccurate, and people living with a disability have similar desires and wants for intimacy.
People living with physical disability might experience challenges engaging in sexual activity or may feel worried about potential challenges leading to feelings of uncertainty. Feeling uncertain about engaging in sexual activity is a normal experience.
Sexual activity may need to be approached differently or pleasure may need to be sought in different ways. Sexual activity does not need to be physical and takes many forms- find what works best.
“The asexual assumption is quite prolific and reinforces a heteronormative view of sexual activities that see intercourse as the only sexual activity (or the best). On the flipside this also means that any indication of sexuality = hypersexual and deviant. Images of people with physical disability are often excluded from media, advertising, books, movies, TV and if portrayed are 'inspiration porn' or seen as non-desirable.” Anonymous survey respondent.
Myth 3
People living with disability, especially young people, do not need information and education about contraception and sexual well-being.
Sexual education for people living with disability has been historically inadequate. When provided, educational programs have tended to focus on impulse control and suppressing natural urges without providing information on contraception or unsafe sexual practices. Educational programs have been informed by principles of unilateral decision making by doctors and family members assuming people living with disability are unable to provide consent.
Facts
Everyone has the right to make choices about their sexual and reproductive health, including the use of contraception. Accessible, and comprehensive resources are available to boost knowledge and confidence in exercising autonomy.
Ensuring everyone has access to adequate, up-to-date, and accessible information regarding contraception options ensures all people are able to make informed decisions about their reproductive health needs and experiences.
Sexual Health Victoria has produced a video resource discussing contraception options. This video is available in multiple languages, including AUSLAN. Watch the 9-minute video here:
(Full transcript for this video is available via YouTube)
Enjoying safe sex comprises two domains- emotional safety and physical safety. Emotionally safer sex encompasses the need for a mutual level of respect between partners that is always reciprocated, and the giving and receiving of consent.
“The opinion of many parents and support workers, even health care providers is that especially for people with intellectual disability, but often neurodevelopmental disability are unable to understand consent, let alone be able to provide it. I believe that these assumptions come from a lack of accessible resources that exist, inability for people to work with communication methods different than their own[…]” Anonymous survey respondent.
Myth 4
People living with disability are not ‘desirable’ or ‘attractive’.
For people living with a disability, it is often a person’s disability that is the hallmark of their identity. That is, it is an identity which supersedes the person’s gender identity and expressions of such.
Facts
Attraction is about connection between two people. What facilitates attraction is unique and varied and informed by factors such as personality, timing and sexual fantasies. Attraction may not be related to the idea of ‘beauty’ at all.
Everyone is attractive to someone. Rigid societal norms influence the way in which people interact, but these are grounded in misinformation and assumptions.
Gender identities and expressions are entwined with societal ideals and people with disability may be framed as ‘less than,’ this is a falsity. Gender expression takes many forms and there is no one way to be.
Video: In Conversation with Stella and Peta
This is a 4.5-minute watch.
Stella and Peta discuss the experiences of Stella, a person with a living experience of disability and the realities of interabled dating. Stella discusses the myths, assumptions and attitudes that have potential to be a barrier and the facts.
References
Sexual Health Quarters. (2024). Common Myths About Sexuality and Disability. https://shq.org.au/2022/09/common-myths-sexuality-disability/
Fraser, V., & Llewellyn, G. (2015). Good, Bad or Absent: Discourses of Parents with Disabilities in Australian News Media. Journal of Applied Research in Intellectual Disabilities, 28(4), 319-329. https://doi.org/10.1111/jar.12142
Smithson, C. A., McLachlan, H. L., Newton, M. S., Smith, C., & Forster, D. A. (2021). Perinatal outcomes of women with a disability who received pregnancy care through a specialised disability clinic in Melbourne, Australia. Australian & New Zealand Journal of Obstetrics & Gynaecology, 61(4), 548–553. https://doi.org/10.1111/ajo.13326
Libesman, T., Gray, P., Chandler, E., Briskman, L., Didi, A., & Avery, S. (2023). Parents with Disability and their Experiences of Child Protection Systems. Royal Commission into Violence, Abuse, Neglect and Exploitation of People with Disability. https://disability.royalcommission.gov.au/system/files/2023-07/Research%20Report%20-%20Parents%20with%20disability%20and%20their%20experiences%20of%20child%20protection%20systems.pdf
Gil‐Llario, M. D., Morell‐Mengual, V., Ballester‐Arnal, R., & Díaz‐Rodríguez, I. (2018). The experience of sexuality in adults with intellectual disability. Journal of Intellectual Disability Research, 62(1), 72–80. https://doi.org/10.1111/jir.12455
United Nations. Convention on the Rights of Persons With Disabilities.
Secca. (2024). Safer Sex. https://www.secca.org.au/resources/safe-sex-brochure/
Women With Disabilities Australia. (2020). Safer Sex and Contraception. https://oursite.wwda.org.au/sex-and-your-body/safer-sex-and-contraception#top
National Disability Insurance Agency. (2020). LGBTQIA+ Strategy. Our bodies, our genders and our relationships. https://www.ndis.gov.au/about-us/strategies/lgbtiqa-strategy
It’s Time to Talk. (n.d.). Healthy Relationships and Disability. https://www.itstimetotalk.net.au/healthy-relationships-and-disability
Independence Australia. (n.d.). Myth Busting: Disabilities and Sex. https://www.independenceaustralia.com.au/health-articles/health-disabilities-and-sex/?gad_source=1&gclid=CjwKCAjwh4-wBhB3EiwAeJsppIxUmFU86SuMZbfvL-yUGSxxjM_SIJW7tXBv-VkaKP0ZfkKR_CvnfRoCwpYQAvD_BwE
Hunt, X., Braathen, S. H., & Rohleder, P. (2021). Physical Disability and Femininity: An Intersection of Identities. In X, Hunt., S. H. Braathen, M. Chiwaula., M. T. Carew., P. Rohleder., & L. Swartz. (eds) Physical Disability and Sexuality. Palgrave Macmillan, Cham. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-55567-2_4
Sexual Health Victoria. (2019, February 25). Contraception is Auslan. [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwYAckkwGwM
Ayers, K. (2020, Jan, 9). Disabled Parenting in an Ableist World. [Video]. YouTube. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=STtI5wXxErY